3 Things I’m Doing Differently with my Second Baby
I’m a type A personality. So, naturally, when I had my first baby, I was laser-focused on following a “schedule”. I wanted to get into a routine as soon as possible, particularly for feedings and sleep. When things didn’t work out how I planned, I felt like I was doing something wrong. Since then, I’ve certified as a postpartum Doula and worked with tons of wonderful families and their newborns. Learning from these experiences and my first baby, here’s what I’m doing differently with my second:
Feeding Her on Demand
With my first, I fed her according to a time schedule: everyone from the nurses at the hospital to my daughter’s pediatrician told us that babies should eat every 2-3 hours. I took this to heart and followed this “schedule” for months. In hindsight, I wasn’t paying very much attention to her natural hunger cues, as I was too fixated on the clock.
This time, I’ve let go of the feeding “schedules” and feed her whenever she shows signs of hunger. This approach feels more natural, and I’m not worried about whether she’s eating frequently enough (with the caveat that I did not let her go more than 4 hours without eating in the first days after birth, until she surpassed her birth weight). Babies know when they’re hungry, and it’s been freeing to just follow her cues. She’s healthy and growing well, and that’s all the confirmation I need that we’re on the right track.
A Consistent Bedtime Routine
Although I am much more relaxed about schedules in general this time around, one thing I have prioritized is implementing a consistent bedtime routine. With my first, I moved her sleep environment a few times–from the living room to our bedroom and back–and didn’t start a bedtime routine until she was several months old. Since then, I’ve learned how important consistency is for promoting healthy sleep habits. So, from our first night home from the hospital, I’ve put my baby in a bedside bassinet for night sleep. I’ve also followed a short and sweet bedtime routine that takes about 15 minutes: a diaper change, a short lullaby, turn the sound machine on, and some gentle swaying. I know that this routine is laying the foundation for good quality sleep, benefiting her (and the whole family) in the long run.
Ditching the sleep regression anxiety
In the early days with my first baby, I read a lot about the various sleep “regressions” that babies may experience (e.g., the dreaded 4-month regression, the 6-month one, etc., etc.). I found myself worrying about upcoming sleep disruptions, fussiness, and other things–before they even happened! At that time, just the thought of more sleepless nights would make me feel anxious. In hindsight, many of these “regressions” didn’t even affect my first baby, and when they did, it wasn’t necessarily at the time or in the way I had anticipated. With my second child, I’m letting all this anxiety around regressions go. The inevitable changes that will happen as she learns, grows, and “develops” are just phases in babyhood; if and when there are changes in her sleeping patterns, then I will adapt. This change in perspective has helped me feel calmer and more present.
In summary, I've embraced a more relaxed and baby-led approach this time around. I no longer feel the need to adhere strictly to schedules or “guidelines”; I'm allowing both of us the flexibility to follow my baby’s natural rhythms. These little mindset shifts have significantly reduced the pressure I felt with my first baby and made this postpartum experience far more enjoyable.